|
|
        |
Crying Disclaimer: This fact sheet is for educational use only. Please consult your doctor or other health professional to make sure this information is right for your child.
Key points to remember
- play safe - pick up and comfort your baby
Back to Top
The crying babyCrying is normal. Crying is the only way babies can let you know that something is upsetting them and that they need you. When babies cry they might be:
- hungry
- thirsty
- too hot
- too cold
- unwell
- in pain
- over-tired, or
- uncomfortable
They may have been startled and just need to be resettled by holding close and cuddling for a while.
There are some babies who cry a lot from the time they are born. They pull up their legs, clench their fists, go red in the face and become very distressed. The problem may be worse in the afternoons and evenings. Other babies may develop severe bouts or attacks of crying when they are a few weeks old. After six to eight weeks, these bouts of crying usually become less intense and most babies become more settled at about four to five months old. However, some babies continue to cry for longer than that. If this happens, remember your baby has a lot of growing and developing to do and will eventually be able to stay calm for longer.
It can be worrying when your baby won't stop crying or has terrible attacks of crying, especially when you can't find what is wrong. Something is upsetting the baby but you may never know what it is. Don't feel you have to ignore the crying because you can't find a reason for it. The baby is not "just putting it over" you.
Babies often need a lot of soothing and holding when they are very upset. Some babies, especially those who are very alert and physically active, may need more help than others to settle. Babies will not develop bad habits or become spoilt if they are comforted and soothed.
Back to Top
What to doThe following ideas will help with most babies. Try them and over time you will learn what works best for you. Give each strategy you use time to see if it works and try not to switch too quickly from one to another. Some things will work some times and not at others. When something doesn't appear to be working, it often helps to leave it and go back and try it again a day or two later, or even a week or two later.
Back to Top
HoldingHold and comfort your crying baby if you can. Hold the baby close and snuggled in to you. Try to keep the baby still. Avoid constantly changing the baby from one position to another or continually picking up and putting the baby down. You can rock or sway gently, or walk around slowly with the baby if it helps, but avoid fast, frantic or rough movement. Remind yourself that you can't make the baby stop crying.
It is not always easy. Some babies push away and won't be held closely. If this happens, try holding the baby close but facing away from you and give the baby a chance to calm down.
Back to Top
Movement
-
pick up your crying baby. Carry, rock or gently bounce the baby or use any kind of slow, rhythmical movement. Try not to do too many things at once. See if you can slow down once you realise you are patting and jigging and shooshing and swaying all at the same time
- try putting your baby in a pouch or sling. Walk around and see if you can get on with your daily routine
-
put your baby in a pram and walk around outside. First wrap the baby in a sheet and then put the pram harness on. This may help the baby to keep still while ensuring the baby's safety. Babies like the feel of a gentle breeze; they like to see the movement of trees and shadows but don't like the sun in their eyes. Go for a walk in a quiet place where you can feel more relaxed. Stay away from people who are likely to be critical of the baby's crying because they will only increase everyone's anxiety
-
use a bouncinette for short periods. Keep the bouncinette on the floor, not on a table or bench
-
try going for a drive in the car. Make sure your baby is in a child restraint approved for use in New Zealand (see fact sheet on Car seats on this website) Back to Top
Sucking
- sucking can help calm your baby and reduce the crying. Let your baby suck on their fist, fingers or thumb. Try giving a dummy. One trick is to place the dummy just on the baby's lips - the lips will automatically latch on to the dummy. However, if your baby is breast-fed try to avoid giving a dummy during your baby's first month of life as it may affect your baby's suck and may interfere with your milk supply
-
if breast feeding, try offering the breast. If formula feeding, it might help to give the next feed a little earlier but try not to give more formula than recommended for your baby's age as overfeeding may lead to some discomfort Back to Top
A soothing bathSome babies will relax and enjoy a bath but others will tense up and not like it. A bath may help your baby calm down. Try it. Make sure to run the cold water first, then add the hot water and check it isn't too hot before putting your baby in the water. Never leave your baby alone in the bath.
Back to Top
Baby massageRub your baby's tummy gently and firmly in a circular clockwise motion. You will find more information about baby massage in most baby books.
Back to Top
PlayingTry distracting your baby with a favourite toy. This will not work if the baby is very upset or overtired and may even make things worse. Don't keep trying if it's not working.
Back to Top
What to do when nothing seems to be working
- you may feel helpless when your baby keeps on crying. Just think - it's not always easy for you to calm down if you're very upset. It is the same for your baby. Try to remember that you can't always stop the crying but you can still comfort your baby
- tune in to your baby's cry. Don't let the distress become too great before you decide to comfort your baby. Try not to rush to the baby, though. Take a few deep breaths first if it helps you to slow down
-
if your baby continues to cry and you are starting to feel desperate, put the baby down in a safe place and walk into another room for a short break, or if another adult is available, ask them to take over the settling for a while Remember you are doing the best you can. When you go back, you may find your baby is easier to calm
There is something called "the period of PURPLE crying" which refers to a time period, usually starting at about two weeks of age, when some babies begin crying more and may be hard to settle. The letters in PURPLE stand for the common parts of non-stop crying in infants:
P – peak pattern (crying peaks around two months of age, then decreases) U – unpredictable (crying can come and go for no reason)
R – resistant to soothing (baby may keep crying no matter what you do to try to soothe them)
P – pain-like look on baby's face
L – long bouts of crying (crying can go on for hours)
E – evening crying (baby cries more in the afternoon and evening)
Parents may feel guilty and angry if they can't soothe their baby. The period of PURPLE crying tells us that if a baby is not ill and parents have tried to soothe baby, it is alright if they cannot stop baby from crying. Some babies are going to cry no matter what. The good news is that the period of PURPLE crying will end!
At times you may feel you are failing at being a parent. Most parents feel like this at one time or another. It may be difficult to ask for help, but it's easier if someone can help out. Try it. Things will improve but you have to survive in the meantime! Be kind to yourself.
You will probably get a lot of advice. It can be very confusing listening to it all and you may wonder what to do. The best advice to take is usually what feels right to you. You may decide that the best thing to do is to pick up and cuddle your baby. Be prepared for well-meaning people to tell you that you are giving in and that your baby has got their own way. Be reassured. Your baby is far too young to think like that.
If your baby is crying a lot, friends or relatives may suggest you change your baby's feed formula or use medications or herbal preparations. You might like to talk to your doctor or Plunket nurse about this. If the sound of your baby's crying changes or you think your baby is sick, or might have a physical problem, see your doctor or go to your local hospital.
If you are finding it difficult to cope, try contacting PlunketLine for help and advice. See Where to go for more information for contact details. You might also find the following information on this website helpful:
Back to Top
Where to go for more informationOn this website
Plunket Plunket is New Zealand's leading provider of Well Child and family health services. Plunket programmes aim to support families with young children. In some areas around New Zealand, Family Centres provide additional individual support and practical help for parents on parenting issues, including breastfeeding, infant nutrition, sleeping, child behaviour and parent / family needs. Contact Plunket to find out if there is a Family Centre near you.
To find out about the services Plunket offers, check What we offer on the Plunket website. For your nearest Plunket office, check Plunket in your area on the Plunket website, or look under Plunket in your phone book.
Plunket also offers a specialist early childhood health telephone help service. It is available to all families, whanau and caregivers 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Call PlunketLine free on 0800 933 922
Postal address: PO Box 5474, Wellington 6145
National office phone: 64 4 471 0177
National office fax: 64 4 471 0190
Telephone advice - Healthline and PlunketLine
-
ring PlunketLine on 0800 933 922 if you have child health and parenting questions or queries. For example, if you have questions about such issues as parenting, crying, sleeping, your child's growth, development, behaviour, immunisation, breastfeeding, nutrition, oral health, safety or want to know more about the Well Child / Tamariki Ora programme
-
call Healthline on 0800 611 116 if you need advice about a child of any age who is unwell or hurt, or has any symptoms of sickness. Healthline provides a full range of telephone triage and health advice for children (and adults)
-
both services are available 24 hours and are free to callers throughout New Zealand, including from a mobile phone Back to Top
AcknowledgementsStarship Foundation and the Paediatric Society of New Zealand acknowledge the co-operation of The Children's Hospital at Westmead, Sydney Children's Hospital at Randwick, and Kaleidoscope - Hunter Children's Health Network in making this fact sheet available to patients and families.
Back to Top
Your notes
Endorsement
This fact sheet was endorsed by PSNZ - 06/05/2009
Copyright
Fact sheets are subject to copyright. In the interests of information sharing they may be copied but acknowledgement must be given to PSNZ and Starship Foundation.
© The Paediatric Society of New Zealand and Starship Foundation 2005 - 2012
|
|