The Importance Of Attachment In Babies

Look at You, - Aroha Atu, Aroha Mai (English)

'Look At You - Aroha Atu, Aroha Mai' - a 25 minute video for all new parents and whānau to help with understanding and responding to the social and emotional needs of babies in the first 3 months of life. The video is an initiative of the Counties Manukau District Health Board. It is based on 'Getting to know you' which is an Australian video by Dr Bijou Blick.

Key points to remember about attachment

all babies will form attachments when cared for
the type of attachment formed will largely depend on the quality of that care
secure attachments have positive outcomes for babies and children throughout their lives

Call PlunketLine [1] on 0800 933 922 for parenting advice.

What is attachment?

Attachment refers to a particular aspect of a child's relationship with their parents and other carers in their life.

It is the child's instinct to seek closeness to specific people who will comfort, protect and/or help organise their feelings. Babies usually have an attachment relationship with a number of people who have provided care including mothers, fathers, grandparents, foster parents and early childhood carers.

Babies are born ready to build an attachment to their parents - they are hardwired for relationship.

It is the most researched approach to looking at child-parent relationships.

How does the attachment system function?

The attachment system functions to ensure a baby/child's protection and survival. When the system is activated, seeking closeness, comfort or protection from mum or dad is the goal. The attachment system can be activated for a 12-18 month old, for example:

by anxiety about seeing or briefly being left with a stranger
by being left alone for a short period of time

Your 12-18 month old will let you know they need you to help them feel safe and calm by signalling they're upset (by crying, looking worried, calling for you) and coming to you.

Everyone's attachment system can be activated throughout our lives, for example:

first days at new schools
experiences of separation and loss

How many attachment figures do babies usually have?

Babies usually have around 4 to 6 attachment figures depending on their experiences of being cared for. They may, however, have more adults who feel bonded to them. Each attachment relationship reflects the quality of care they have received over preceding months.

Are there different patterns of attachment?

Yes there are and depending on how a baby is cared for by a specific person, they may develop one of the following patterns: either secure, insecure organised or insecure disorganised.

The attachment relationship may change over time; towards security or insecurity if the quality of care from a parent changes in a major way.

A secure attachment relationship:

promotes the most favourable social and emotional development for a child
provides the child exposed to adversity with greater resilience or resistance to the full effects of difficult experiences

How does a secure attachment relationship between a child and parent develop?

It is the early care of a baby especially around supporting the baby when emotionally unsettled (dysregulated) that lays the foundation for a child's attachment relationship with that parent. Usually, you can see signs of the baby's attachment pattern with a parent towards the end of the first year.

Warm, predictable, sensitive care when a baby or child is emotionally unsettled, anxious, or fearful, is important for supporting the development of a secure attachment relationship for that baby with that parent. Watch the Circle of Security video below and see the links to the Circle of Security website at the bottom of this page for more information.

Circle of Security Animation [2] from Circle of Security International [3] on Vimeo [4].

In the early months, understanding and responding to a baby's cues lays the foundation for the baby developing a sense that they are loved and lovable. Care that frightens the child, is hostile, is very insensitive or interferes with a child's own initiatives does not support secure attachment.

Check the page about play and your child's development [5]

It can be very hard for parents, even with the best of intentions, to care responsively with warmth, consistency and predictability, if not cared for like this as a child themselves. It is also difficult when a parent has an addiction problem, is severely stressed and/or very ill especially with a serious mental health problem. Contact the Infant Mental Health Association Aotearoa New Zealand [6] to ask for information about supports and services available in your area.

External links and downloads (see the online version for more information at other websites)

Attachment (Raising Children Network, Australia) [7]

[8]Raising Children Network is an Australian online parenting resource for all stages from pregnancy to newborns to teens.

Centre for Attachment (New Zealand) [9]

[10]The Centre for Attachment is a New Zealand based agency dedicated to providing support, education and training for families, organisations and communities on optimal child development and attachment.

Circle of Security International [11]

[12]The Circle of Security is a relationship based early intervention program designed to enhance attachment security between parents and children.

Circle of Security diagram [13]

[14]A key role of being a parent is to provide a safe and secure base from which your baby can explore the world around them. The secure base means they know that they can come back to you. This gives your baby the message that you are attentive to their wants and needs.

Circle of Security animation video [15]

[2]A 4 minute animation video which explains the Circle of Security.

Website for the NZ Affiliate of the World Association for Infant Mental Health [16]

[17]Infant mental health is the area that focuses on healthy social and emotional development of children from birth to their fourth birthday, and on the discipline of practice and research. It is especially concerned with promoting optimal relationships for infants and young children. Members come from all over New Zealand and from a variety of backgrounds. The organisation is a good contact to find out about resources and services across New Zealand.

Great Fathers (New Zealand) [18]

[19]Check this website for some information to help with understanding and responding to babies' signals. It includes resources especially for fathers - about comforting and settling babies and the importance fathers have in supporting their children's development, including building secure attachment relationships.

Baby cues interactive video guide (Raising Children Network, Australia) [20]

[21]Check this website for some information to help with understanding and responding to babies' signals. You can click on an option to learn more about the cues babies give us when they're tired, hungry, want to play or need a break.

Bonding with your newborn (Raising Children Network, Australia) [22]

[23]Check this website for some information to help with understanding and responding to babies' signals. This includes how you can help your baby's brain development through bonding - lots of smiles, cuddles and loving words. See 'bonding in pictures [23]'.

Early years last forever (Brainwave Trust) [24]

[25]Brainwave was formed as a response to new scientific evidence on the impact that experiences in the early years have on the brain development of a child.

This page last reviewed 29 January 2020.
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