The KidsHealth page on talking to kids about trauma has been updated with resources on supporting children after a flood.
Check the KidsHealth page on trauma and how to talk to your kids about it [1]
Traumatic events, including natural disasters, are distressing. Strong reactions immediately after the event are very common. Fear, sadness, guilt and anger are all common emotions felt by children, teenagers, and adults. People start to question their own beliefs, particularly about their safety, sense of control over their life, and how predictable the world really is.
It is important to realise that the impact of a natural disaster can be far-reaching, even for children who were not at the site of the disaster. Children can be affected by other people’s responses and what they see or hear about through media and conversation.
The age of a child will have an impact on how they respond to a traumatic situation and also what they need to help them to get through it. The older the child, the more 'in-tune' they will be with their emotions and the better their ability to put feelings into words. There can be a delay between the trauma and the response. It’s important to remember that your child's behaviour may be a response to a distressing experience.
When children have faced a traumatic event, they may experience a number of emotional and behavioural responses including:
The response of the adults around children is very important and influences how children cope with a traumatic event. It is important to be aware of your own responses and emotional needs so that you can look after your children.
There are some strategies to help children.
Talk about how everyone is feeling about what has happened. Let them know that their responses are natural and normal for the situation.
Being honest about the experience. Children’s imagination and the fear of the unknown can be more overwhelming for children than the reality. Don't focus on the gruesome or tragic aspects of the experience. Talk about the services and people who are helping to make things better. If you do not have answers, then that is OK to tell them that.
Controlling how much access your child has to the media. Your child's age will affect how they can interpret the material that they see and hear.
Being prepared to answer the same question over and over again. This is their way of making sense of the situation.
Reassuring your child that they are loved, safe (in whatever realistic or truthful way they are), and cared for.
Sticking to routines, including meal times and bedtimes as much as possible. This gives a sense of safety and security.
Trying to do family-based activities - this will make children feel like they are part of a unit and provide a sense of connectedness or togetherness.
Keeping each family member's role clear – don't expect or allow children to take on too much responsibility.
Trying to give each child special attention.
Making sure that everyone is eating and sleeping.
Providing comfort when a child is distressed.
Encouraging your child to take action. This can help if your child is experiencing a sense of helplessness. This could include writing cards or drawing pictures to send to rescue agencies or families who have been affected.
You could try Sparklers at home [2]. There are fun wellbeing activities to support whānau and their tamariki to look after their wellbeing and feel good. Sparklers is backed by both science, NZ research and wellbeing specialists.
As an adult, it is very important that you look after yourself as well. This is often easier said than done because your focus is often on the more vulnerable around us. You need to be in the best position possible so you can look after your child - it is about strengthening yourself so you can be strong for your child. Talk to other adults about your feelings and what is going on. Access support systems available to you and try to keep to as many routines as possible.
Parents are the best support for children who have been through a traumatic event. Most young people's distress will improve with the love, care, and support from their family and whānau. Unfortunately, it's impossible to predict those small numbers of young people who will have significant ongoing emotional difficulties following a natural disaster.
For some children, they will need to have support from professionals. If your child's responses are severe or are ongoing (for example, they continue once normal routines such as going back to school are in place), your child may require extra help to cope. Also, help from mental health services may be more likely for children or young people with existing mental health difficulties, those who have had previous mental health difficulties, or those whose parents are affected by mental health difficulties.
If you are concerned, you should contact your family doctor who will be able to advise you what support is available.
Read about how to talk to your child about a traumatic event [1]
Read about bereavement reactions by age group [4]
See the KidsHealth's section on emotional and mental wellbeing [5]
https://www.skylight.org.nz [6] [Accessed 07/03/2022]
Thank you to the New Zealand Psychological Society for permission to adapt their document Life after earthquakes, written to help people as they cope with the impact of the Canterbury earthquakes and other disasters.
This page last reviewed 07 March 2022.
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Links
[1] https://www.kidshealth.org.nz/trauma-how-talk-your-kids-about
[2] https://sparklers.org.nz/parenting/
[3] https://www.kidshealth.org.nz/tags/death-grief
[4] https://www.kidshealth.org.nz/bereavement-reactions-age-group
[5] https://www.kidshealth.org.nz/tags/emotional-mental-wellbeing
[6] https://www.skylight.org.nz
[7] https://www.kidshealth.org.nz/node/1537?language=ko
[8] https://www.kidshealth.org.nz/node/1538?language=ko
[9] https://www.kidshealth.org.nz/node/1539?language=ko
[10] https://www.kidshealth.org.nz/node/1540?language=ko
[11] https://www.kidshealth.org.nz/node/1541?language=ko
[12] https://www.kidshealth.org.nz/contact?from=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kidshealth.org.nz%2Fprint%2F482%3Flanguage%3Dko