Key points about sleep associations
- sleep associations happen when your child learns to fall asleep with a certain object or activity
- changing sleep associations means helping your child learn to fall asleep on their own
- establish a consistent bedtime routine with calm, enjoyable activities
- avoid exciting or high-energy activities, or watching TV before bed
- keep your child’s bedroom the same at bedtime as it is during the night
This page is about sleep in primary school tamariki (children).
What are sleep associations?
Sleep associations happen when your child learns to fall asleep with a certain object or activity. Changing this is all about teaching your child to fall asleep by themselves.
Bedtime routines for children
Establish a regular bedtime routine. Include calm activities like a bath and bedtime stories.
Avoid exciting or high-energy activities before bed, such as:
- running around
- playing outside
- watching TV or videos or using screens
The activities closest to ‘lights out’ like reading a story, should happen in your child’s bedroom.
The key to having your child sleep through the night is to have them learn to fall asleep on their own, so they can put themselves back to sleep when they naturally wake up during the night.
Consistent bedroom environment
Make sure your child’s bedroom is the same at bedtime as it is during the night. For example, keep the lighting the same and do not use music unless it will stay on all night.
Putting your child to bed
After the bedtime routine, put your child in bed sleepy but awake and leave the room. The key is helping your child learn to fall asleep on their own. This helps them go back to sleep if they wake during the night.
What to do if your child cries
IIf your child cries after you leave the room, you choose to:
- ignore them
- use the ‘checking’ method
- use the ‘camping out’ method
Checking method
Go in at set times to check on your child. This reassures your child that you are there and lets you see they are OK.
Things to consider:
- some tamariki do best with frequent checks (for example, every 2 minutes)
- others need less frequent checks (for example, every 5, 10 or 15 minutes)
- keep checking while your child is upset
- keep visits brief (about 1 minute) and calm — say it is time to sleep and avoid playing or talking
Checking Method For Managing Sleep Problems
Camping out method
Sit on a chair next to your child’s bed while they fall asleep.
For example:
- on the first night, sit beside the bed until your child falls asleep
- over the following nights, move the chair further away each time
- continue until you are outside the room and your child can fall asleep on their own
Camping Out Method For Managing Sleep Problems
What happens if my child comes out of the room?
If your child comes out of their room you must take them straight back.
Ignore any requests for food, drink or talking.
Take them back to their room, say "goodnight" and leave.
You may have to take your child back several times before they get the message.
Respond to your child during the night
At first, respond to your child during the night as you usually would (for example, sitting with them). Most tamariki begin to sleep through the night within 1 to 2 weeks once they are falling asleep easily at bedtime.
If your child is still waking after 2 weeks, use the same checking method for night waking.
Avoid taking your child out of the room overnight for example, to watch TV or have a drink. This can reinforce unhelpful habits.
When to remove an activity or item
If your child links a bedtime activity with falling asleep, and it keeps them awake, gradually remove it from the bedtime routine.
Common examples include:
- TVs
- computer or PlayStation games
- mobile phones
Reduce the time spent on the activity by about 10 minutes each night. Reward your child for cutting back, for example, with a sticker on a star chart in the morning.
If your child falls asleep in front of the TV, turn it off when they are sleepy but still awake. Even better, remove TVs, phones and computers from the bedroom.
See the star charts page for more ideas and tips and you can download a free chart to use with your child.
Online sleep programme
The Good Nights Programme is a New Zealand developed sleep programme. It was originally developed to support tamariki with autism-takiwātanga. Much of the content is helpful for all parents and whānau who want to support their child to sleep better. You can work through the modules in your own time.
Find out more about sleep and the best way to support your child to improve their sleep.
Module 1: Understanding your child's sleep
Module 2: Sleep scheduling
Module 3: Creating optimum conditions for sleep
Module 4: Teaching children healthy sleep habits
Module 5: Relaxation
Module 6: Promoting sleep-conducive behaviour
Module 7: Creating a sleep support plan
Visit the Good Nights Programme website to see all the modules
Acknowledgements
Starship Foundation and the Paediatric Society of New Zealand thank the Centre for Community Child Health at the Murdoch Childrens Research Institute and Royal Children's Hospital, Melbourne, Australia, for making this content available to parents and families.
© Copyright – Centre for Community Child Health at the Murdoch Childrens Research Institute and Royal Children's Hospital, Melbourne, Victoria, Australia 2014. Except as permitted under the Copyright Act 1968 (Cth), no part of this content may be reproduced by a process, electronic or otherwise, without the specific written permission of the Murdoch Childrens Research Institute.
