Key points about bedtime passes for managing sleep problems
- for tamariki starting school, bedtime should ideally be no later than 8:30pm
- establish a regular bedtime to help set your child’s body clock
- for tamariki who find it hard to stay in their bedroom or who call out, a bedtime pass may help
- sit down with your child and explain the plan
- make the bedtime pass together
This page is about sleep in primary school tamariki.
What time should I put my child to bed?
For tamariki starting school, bedtime should ideally be no later than 8:30pm.
Choose a suitable bedtime for your child and keep it consistent to help set their body clock. Make sure your child is ready for sleep before putting them to bed.
How can a bedtime pass help my child with sleep problems?
Being consistent will increase your chances of success with improving your child’s sleep patterns.
For tamariki who find it hard to stay in their bedroom or who call out, a bedtime pass may help. Follow the steps to set up a bedtime pass.
Sit down with your child for a chat
Sit down with your child and explain the plan. Let them know they are finding it hard to fall asleep on their own and that you have an idea to help.
You could say:
I know it is hard for you to go to sleep, so I have an idea to help you.
Explain the pass strategy to them
You could say:
You and I are going to make a pass for you to use each night. You will get one pass per night. After you are in bed, you can use the pass for one quick trip out of your room, for a specific reason. For example, one last hug or a trip to the toilet. If you use the pass, give it to Mum or Dad and go straight back to bed.
Make it clear the trip should be short and for a specific reason (5 minutes or less).
Let them know what happens next
Explain what happens after your child has used the pass.
You could say:
After you use your pass, you need to go back to bed and stay there for the rest of the night.
Make the pass
Make the pass together with your child. You can use cardboard or a small card, as long as it is sturdy.
Let your child decorate it by colouring or writing on it to make it their own.
Give them the pass before bed
Just before bed, give your child the pass and remind them how to use it. Follow your usual bedtime routine, then leave the room.
If your child uses the pass, take it and send them back to bed. Remind them it is time to stay in their room and be quiet.
What if my child keeps calling out after using the pass?
If your child calls out after using the pass, ignore the behaviour. Even if it gets worse at first, continue to ignore it.
If your child comes out of their room after using the pass, calmly guide them back to bed with little or no talking.
For the first few nights, remind your child how the pass works, give them the pass, and follow the same routine each night.
Should I reward my child for using the pass?
Remember to reward your child for using the bedtime pass and staying in their room afterwards.
Try your strategies for several nights (3 to 7 days). Being consistent will help improve your child’s sleep. If possible, make sure everyone caring for your child follows the same plan.
Rewards For Managing Sleep Problems
See the page on star charts for tips and ideas and you can download a free star chart to use with your child.
Online sleep programme
The Good Nights Programme is a New Zealand developed sleep programme. It was originally developed to support tamariki with autism-takiwātanga. Much of the content is helpful for all parents and whānau who want to support their child to sleep better. You can work through the modules in your own time.
Find out more about sleep and the best way to support your child to improve their sleep.
Module 1: Understanding your child's sleep
Module 2: Sleep scheduling
Module 3: Creating optimum conditions for sleep
Module 4: Teaching children healthy sleep habits
Module 5: Relaxation
Module 6: Promoting sleep-conducive behaviour
Module 7: Creating a sleep support plan
Visit the Good Nights Programme website to see all the modules
Acknowledgements
Starship Foundation and the Paediatric Society of New Zealand thank the Centre for Community Child Health at the Murdoch Childrens Research Institute and Royal Children's Hospital, Melbourne, Australia, for making this content available to parents and families.
© Copyright – Centre for Community Child Health at the Murdoch Childrens Research Institute and Royal Children's Hospital, Melbourne, Victoria, Australia 2014. Except as permitted under the Copyright Act 1968 (Cth), no part of this content may be reproduced by a process, electronic or otherwise, without the specific written permission of the Murdoch Childrens Research Institute..
