Key points about painful procedures and operations
- as a parent or caregiver, you know your child best and can help staff to help your child cope with the procedure or surgery
- be honest and calm when telling your child about the procedure and answering their questions
- decide on which coping strategies you and your child think would be most helpful
- it is usually helpful for a child to have a parent with them during a painful procedure or when waking after surgery
- if you feel you can't be present, think about arranging another person your child is comfortable with
Coping with painful procedures or operations
Sometimes, medical procedures can be threatening or painful for tamariki (children) and rangatahi (young people). Hospital staff will always try to reduce your child's anxiety and pain and make medical procedures as stress free as possible.
Learn some ways to help support your child during a procedure, or before and after surgery.
Helping your child before a procedure or operation
Talk to a health professional
Talk to your child’s health professional about the procedure or operation. Ask any questions that you or your child may have.
It may also be helpful for your child to meet the procedure team before the procedure day. It's important that your child has a friendly relationship with their procedure team, particularly if they are having repeat procedures.
Give your child simple and honest information
Give your child simple and honest information. A good guide is to cover the 5 W’s: who, what, where, when and why.
For example:
- Who - ‘Dr X’
- What - ‘removing your stitches’
- Where - ‘at the hospital’
- When - ‘tomorrow afternoon’
- Why - ‘because your skin is healing and it’s time for the stitches to come out’
We are going to see Dr X tomorrow afternoon at the hospital to have your stitches taken out. They will take your stitches out now as your skin is healing, and it’s time for the stitches to come out. Do you have any questions for Dr X about your surgery or your stitches coming out?
Talk about the procedure before the day it happens
Give your child an explanation about their procedure before the day of the procedure. Repeat the explanation on the morning of the procedure.
You may need to change how you give this information to your child depending on:
- their developmental age
- their mood or how they are feeling
- how they communicate best, like speaking or sign language
- how they learn best, like reading stories, speaking or watching videos
Answer questions
Answer any questions that your child may have. If you don't know the answer to your child's questions, try to find out. For example, tell them that you don't know, but together you will ask the healthcare team.
It’s important to be honest. If you lie about something and your child finds out, they may lose trust in you or their health professionals.
Bring your child's comfort items
Bring games, toys, activity books or anything your child likes to do. It’s great to give your child some choices about what they bring. If your child has a special toy or blanket that is comforting, they may want to bring it with them.
Helping your child during a procedure or operation
Be there during the procedure if possible
It's very helpful for a child to have a parent present during a painful procedure or when waking up after surgery. It's very important for the supporting adult to be calm throughout the procedure.
Show confidence and stay calm
Try to appear calm and confident. Your child will react to how you are feeling. If you don't feel that you can stay calm, it might be helpful to ask another adult that your child is comfortable with, to be there.
Give your child some choices
Where possible, give your child some choices. This can be helpful to give your child some control over what is happening.
Some examples of choices they could make include:
- whether to sit on the bed or a parent's lap for the procedure
- what toy they’d like to take with them into the room
- who will talk to them during the procedure
- what type of distraction they can use during the procedure
- what they’d like to do after the procedure to celebrate being brave
Discuss these choices with a health professional first. The choices need to be achievable and available.
Get your child involved
For tamariki over 3 years of age, it can also be helpful to give them a job during the procedure. This allows them to focus on what they need to do – rather than what they can't do. For example:
Your job during the blood test is to keep your arm still.
Discuss this with your child’s treatment team first to make sure they are appropriate and achievable choices for the procedure.
Use distraction to help reduce pain and anxiety
Research has shown that distraction is helpful in reducing pain and anxiety during procedures.
Distraction involves helping your child to focus on things other than the medical procedure such as:
- blowing bubbles
- looking at picture books together
- watching a favourite movie or TV show
- playing a game on a phone or app
- playing with their favourite toys
- singing familiar or silly songs
Try relaxation strategies
Using relaxation strategies can also be very helpful. Practice them beforehand at home.
Some things that can help your child relax include:
- slow breathing techniques
- guided imagery - your child could picture themselves in a favourite place and imagine what they can see, hear, feel, taste and smell
- muscle relaxation techniques - starting to relax body parts starting from the toes and working slowly up to the head
- listening to music - if your child needs to be still, keep the music relaxed and slow
Give praise
Praise your child for any attempts at using helpful coping strategies.
Things you could say include:
- you used your listening ears
- you are doing great slow deep breathing
- you used your words to tell us
- what a great job you're doing spotting all the stars
- you kept your arm still
- I liked the way you blew and popped the bubbles
Let your child know it's OK to feel upset
If your child cries, let them know that it is OK to feel upset. Your child does not need to be brave.
Helping your child after a procedure or operation
Talk about the procedure afterwards
It's good to talk with your child about the procedure afterwards. It's especially good to focus on what your child did that helped them cope. Some tamariki may want to draw a picture about the experience. This helps your child better understand what happened and may make it easier if they need more procedures in the future.
Repeat procedures
If your child needs regular procedures, try to follow the same routine. Your child will be less anxious if they know what to expect when they go in for a procedure.
