Tips for talking with your teenager around porn
Be prepared
Preparing for the conversation will help you stay relevant, calm, and unshockable.
Tailor the talk
Be guided by your teenager’s age, knowledge and experience.
Team up
Talk to other whānau members about who’s best to start the conversation.
Be curious and open
Take a curious, kind and non-judgmental approach, listen with empathy, and avoid words like ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ that can create shame and shut down conversations.
Choose a good time and place
Try somewhere your teen is comfortable with, like driving or walking the dog.
Help build porn resiliency
Discuss the messages in porn and online sexual content around things like gender, violence and sexism. Reflect on how these align with your teenager's own personal, cultural or faith views to help build critical thinking.
Offer support
Some teenagers struggle with porn and online-related issues, so let your teen know you’re here to help if they, or any of their friends, are struggling.
How To Talk To & Support Your Child Or Pre-Teen Around Pornography
How To Talk To Your Child About Sex
Resources to support your teenager around porn
Here are some resources to help parents and whānau with starting conversations, building critical thinking and supporting teenagers around porn and their online sexual world.
The Light Project aims to help youth, their whānau, schools and wider communities to positively navigate porn and online sexual content and has a range of information, resources, tools and support pathways for parents.
It has information for whānau and tips for talking to your child. Check out the website for advice and resources.
Keep It Real Online is a New Zealand Government campaign to support parents and caregivers to keep their children safe online. It has advice and resources on how to talk to your child about pornography as well as tips to keep your family safe online.
The Classification Office Te Mana Whakaatu is responsible for the classification of all films, videos, publications, and some video games in New Zealand. Their site has some useful research and information for parents about controlling content and pornography.
In the Know is a NZ site for young people wanting information or help with porn related concerns. It includes tools, tips, videos, information and referral services offering support with key porn-related issues. It covers a range of issues, including nudes, feeling uncomfortable with porn, pressure to watch porn, wanting to cut down on porn and creating online sexual content.
NetSafe is an independent non-profit organisation that provides cybersafety and online security education for all New Zealanders. NetSafe's website has a variety of information on online safety and security issues. The website has information for children, parents, community groups, schools and counsellors.
Just the Facts is a website run by the Sexually Transmitted Infections Education Foundation (STIEF). It is a project funded by the Ministry of Health through district health boards to educate New Zealanders about sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
Acknowledgements
The content on this page has been developed and approved by the Clinical Network for Child Protection, Paediatric Society New Zealand with input and guidance from Nikki Denholm, Director, The Light Project.
