Key points about coping with a natural disaster
- after a natural disaster, it is normal to have strong feelings and reactions
- some tamariki and rangatahi may have changes in their behaviour
- tamariki learn from their parents’ responses, as well as what they see and hear in the media
- providing your child with accurate information, that is suitable for their age
- allow for whānau (family) time
- try to keep as many routines in place as possible, to provide a sense of safety and security
The impact of natural disasters on tamariki
Strong reactions immediately after the event are very common
Traumatic events, including natural disasters, are distressing. Strong reactions immediately after the event are very common. Fear, sadness, guilt and anger are all common emotions felt by tamariki and rangatahi. People may start to question what they believe about safety and the world around them.
People's responses can affect children
It is important to realise that the impact of a natural disaster can be far-reaching. It can even affect tamariki who were not at the site of the disaster. Other people’s responses, conversations and the media can all affect tamariki.
A child's age affects how they respond
The age of a child will have an impact on how they respond to a traumatic situation. It will also impact what they need to help them to get through it. Older tamariki will be more aware of their emotions and can put their feelings into words. There can be a delay between the trauma and the response. Remember, your child's behaviour may be a response to a distressing experience.
See the page on talking to kids about trauma. It includes resources on supporting tamariki after a flood.
Trauma - How To Talk To Your Kids About It
Common responses to traumatic events
After a traumatic event, tamariki may show many different emotions and behaviours. This includes:
- engaging in repetitive play that re-enacts the trauma
- having dreams or nightmares of the event
- having dreams or nightmares about themselves or significant others being in danger
- becoming preoccupied with other traumatic events
- becoming very distressed when faced with reminders about the event
- withdrawing from people and wanting to be alone
- losing interest in activities that they usually enjoy
- being alert, tense, and on-edge
- sleeping difficulties
- experiencing aches and pains – especially stomach aches and headaches
- bedwetting
- difficulty concentrating and paying attention
- being clingy and overly dependent on others
- becoming distressed or fearful if separated from loved ones
- behaving younger than they are
- being generally irritable and acting out
- being angry and verbally or physically aggressive
- having difficulty seeing any future for themselves or loved ones
How to help your child after a natural disaster
The response of the adults around tamariki is very important. It influences how tamariki cope with a traumatic event. It is important to be aware of your own responses and emotional needs so that you can look after your tamariki.
There are some strategies to help tamariki.
Talk about how you are feeling
Talk about how everyone is feeling about what has happened. Let them know that their responses are natural and normal for the situation.
Be honest
Be honest about the experience. Imagination and fear of the unknown can feel more overwhelming than reality. Don't focus on the gruesome or tragic aspects of an experience. Talk about the services and people who are helping to make things better. If you do not have answers, then that is OK to tell them that.
Control access to the media
Control how much access your child has to the media. Your child's age will affect how they can interpret the material that they see and hear.
Be prepared to answer questions
Be prepared to answer the same question over and over again. This is how tamariki make sense of the situation.
Reassure your child
Reassure your child that they are safe (in whatever realistic or truthful way they are). Remind them you love and care about them.
Stick to routines
Stick to routines, including meal times and bedtimes as much as possible. This gives a sense of safety and security.
Try to do family-based activities
Try to do whānau-based activities. This will make tamariki feel like they are part of a unit and provide a sense of togetherness.
Keep roles clear
Keep each whānau member's role clear. Don't expect or allow tamariki to take on too much responsibility.
Special attention
Try to give each child special attention.
Eating and sleeping
Making sure that everyone is eating and sleeping.
Providing comfort
Help your child feel safe and comforted when they’re distressed.
Taking action
Encourage your child to take action. This can help if your child is experiencing a sense of helplessness. This could include writing cards or drawing pictures to send to others.
Looking after yourself following a natural disaster
As an adult, it is very important that you look after yourself as well. This is often easier said than done because your focus is often on the more vulnerable people around you. You need to be in the best position possible so you can look after your child. It is about strengthening yourself so you can be strong for your child. Talk to other adults about your feelings and what is going on. Access support systems available to you and try to keep to as many routines as possible.
When to get professional help after a natural disaster
Distress will improve for most tamariki with the love, care, and support from whānau
Parents are the best support for tamariki who have been through a traumatic event. Most young people's distress will improve with the love, care, and support of their whānau. A few rangatahi may have ongoing emotional difficulties after a natural disaster. Unfortunately, it is impossible to predict who will and who won't.
Some children will need support from professionals
For some tamariki, they will need to have support from health professionals. Even when school and daily routines start again, some tamariki still feel distressed. If your child's responses are severe or are ongoing, they may need extra help to cope.
Tamariki and rangatahi with existing mental health difficulties, may need extra support.
If you’re worried, talk to a health professional. They can tell you what support is available.
More information and support
You could try Sparklers at home. They provide fun activities to support whānau and their tamariki to look after their wellbeing and feel good. Sparklers is backed by both science, NZ research and wellbeing specialists.
Skylight provides a national support service for New Zealand children and young people who are experiencing change, loss and grief - whatever its cause. See their resources on supporting tamariki and rangatahi during natural disasters.
Check out the HealthEd resource to help prepare you and your family for a disaster. It covers what to do before, during and after a civil emergency, and what to include in your emergency survival kit.
Visit the Get Ready website for information and resources. Find out what to do before, during and after each type of emergency.
See the New Zealand Psychological Society website for a list of resources on trauma and emergencies.
If you or your whānau are grieving after a traumatic event, see the content on death and grief. It has more information and support.
Trauma - How To Talk To Your Kids About It
Bereavement Reactions Of Children & Young People By Age Group
Acknowledgements
Thank you to the New Zealand Psychological Society for permission to adapt their document Life after earthquakes, written to help people as they cope with the impact of the Canterbury earthquakes and other disasters.
