Death & Grief

It's difficult to know how to support your child when they are grieving. A practical strategy you can try is to coach their emotions. This helps tamariki (children) learn to understand their emotions better. Emotion coaching involves naming, validating and expressing any feelings that tamariki have. This is called an ‘emotional literacy approach to supporting grief.’

There are some things to remember about how tamariki (children) and rangatahi (young people) process death and grief, depending on their developmental stage.

Telling a child or young person that someone they love is dying or has died is surely one of the hardest things. Check some ideas to support you to find the right words for you and your child.

Parents understandably can feel overwhelmed with their own grief when a whānau (family) member dies. It can be difficult to know how best to support tamariki (children) at this time. While each whānau has its own culture and traditions that may guide and comfort them following a death in the whānau, you can also check some of the main ways to support tamariki who are grieving.

When a whānau (family) member has died, even very young tamariki (children) under 2 years will need an explanation of what they are seeing around them, to help them start to understand what has happened. Talking to tamariki helps them to trust you and helps them to make sense of what is happening in their world.

Facing the death of your own child is one of the toughest life experiences. Here is some information you may find helpful. Some of it may apply to your own situation, some of it may not.

Bereaved tamariki (children) and rangatahi (young people) may experience a wide range of ongoing grief reactions, as adults do, but their age and stage, personality and whānau (family) situation will affect their experience and expression of it.

One of the best ways adults can help young grievers is to listen to their stories. Telling their story is a healing experience.

A child's reactions to grief can depend on many things, including their developmental stage. Bereaved tamariki (children) and rangatahi (young people) will need ongoing attention, reassurance and support. Find out more about the common reactions to grief and ways to support tamariki at different ages and stages.

Finding your way through the sadness and pain of the loss of a precious child is the toughest of tasks.