Picture books for pre-school and primary-school children about death and grief
By Bryan Mellonie and Robert Ingpen
A matter-of-fact book about how every living being has a life-time. It uses nature to discuss this concept. You can use this book as a general introduction to death and dying and how this is part of life. A helpful resource for early childhood centres and schools. You can read this to all children. It can be a foundation - ideally before a child has personal experience of death of a loved one.
By Linda Tuhiwai Smith, illustrated by Isobel Jo Te Aho-White
A beautiful story using te ao Māori which uses the playful imagination of young children to tell the story of Te Wai and his friend Tama. We learn how whānau and friends play a vital role in supporting Te Wai through the sickness and then death of his mum.
By Trace Moroney
This is a helpful book that uses the very apt analogy of waves in the ocean as being similar to grief. Useful for both children and adults alike. It sets the scene for parents, guardians and children to talk about grief and how it can be different for each person, and even different each day.
By Rachel Noble and Zoey Abbott
A heartwarming story about Hamish whose brother Finn sadly died. This provides a view of grief from a child’s perspective and how play continues to be very important to children who are experiencing bereavement.
By Cloe Willetts
A bright and beautiful picture book about a friendship, covering how this connection can live on after death. While sad, this story provides young children with an uplifting end and a way to find comfort in that connection.
Picture books to support young children’s emotional literacy
Grief is made up of many different emotions. By supporting and coaching all these emotions in tamariki, we are in turn supporting grief. Tamarki enjoy a mix of book subjects, stories and themes. So when we mix it up, we can set the scene for a range of different conversations and learning opportunities.
These books could be helpful when there has been a terminal diagnosis, before death (anticipatory grief). Or, the books could be helpful by continuing to build your child’s understanding of their own emotions.
By Cori Doerrfeld
This book has a powerful yet simple message. Sometimes, just being there and listening to a child, with no adult words or questions, is the most helpful thing you can do.
By Patrice Karst, illustrated by Joanne Lew Vriethoff
This clever book talks about the concept of continuing connections and relationships with people who we can’t always see. The story provides a very helpful way to talk to children about how they can continue their connection with someone they love, no matter what.
By Tina Oziewicz and Aleksandra Zajac
A book that cleverly couples the label of the emotion with how it can make us feel. This builds understanding of the label along with an action that helps children understand what that emotion actually means. For example; “Calm strokes a dog.”
Books for intermediate and secondary school children
There are fewer books specifically about grief and death for older tamariki and rangatahi. It can depend on your child’s skill and interest level. But, in general, books that explore emotions could be helpful.
Tamariki and rangatahi of this age could use their school or local library. They could search for books that meet their interest level and preferences - graphic novels, fiction or non-fiction.
You know your child best, and what might work best for them. The following are some suggested books which could start you off when looking for resources that may be helpful for your child or young person.
By Megan Devine
This practical and informative book and journal could be incredibly useful for bereaved teens. It has a practical approach with factual information, tools and strategies. It also has space for the young person to record their own thoughts and ideas.
By Cariad Lloyd
The author of this book was 15 when her dad died. She wrote this as an adult but looking back to her teenage years and how this has affected her. A helpful guide to facing the range of emotions that come with grief. It supports the difficult process of facing all our feelings throughout bereavement.
By Genevieve Mora and Jazz Thornton
This book could be helpful for the younger age level (intermediate age) within this group. It can introduce them to strategies and concepts which build resilience and coping skills. Not specifically targeted towards grief, but useful for a young person who has experienced bereavement and needs to continue building their understanding of ways to move forward.
By Lucy Hone
This book is targeted towards adults but teens with an interest in reading this genre of book are likely to benefit from it’s extremely useful messages. Containing practical strategies and explanations about how to be an 'active participant in your grieving process', this could be a great book to try if you’re not sure where to start.
